U Germany was last year 360 women killed - almost half of them were killed by their (former) life partners. Diana B. survived and found refuge in a safe house with her children. She was lucky.
Diana B. was repeatedly threatened with death by her husband. For years he beat her, strangled her and in the end seriously injured her. Her real name and place of residence are known to the editorial staff DW.
Before the violence escalated, Diana B. believed that she would get rid of the violence by getting a divorce. In order to get his consent for the divorce, she withdrew the report she filed against him with the police.
She remained living alone with her children, but the danger did not disappear. The husband suddenly appeared at the child's birthday party. He dragged her by the hair into the basement, threatened to kill her and strangled her violently. Their daughter followed them, pleading, “Please, Dad, let Mom go, let go, please!” When her husband let her go, Diana managed to get upstairs, tidy up, and continue to lead the birthday party for her son. She says she felt the pain only later.
Diana B. was lucky in the accident. After the last brutal attack, she managed to escape, bleeding heavily, to a nearby store, where other men protected her. After an operation for fractured facial bones and a stay in the hospital, she was placed in a safe house with the children.
Because she had not filed charges against her husband before, the court treated him as if it was his first time, so he only received a suspended sentence. The family court forbade him to have any contact with her. But Diana hopes he won't find her.
"I never want to see my husband again," says Diana, showing a photo of her post-injury face. "It was a mistake to stay with him for the sake of the children." If I'm not well, they won't be either."
She survived - hundreds of women did not.
Last year, 360 women were killed
Every day in Germany, a man tries to kill his (former) partner, and often succeeds.
According to the latest report of the Federal Criminal Service (BKA), 360 women were killed in Germany last year - almost half of them, 155 women were killed by their (former) life partners.
In Germany, femicide is not a separate crime; perpetrators may be convicted of murder or manslaughter. In a large number of cases, murders are preceded by domestic violence.
Every form of violence against women is on the rise.
Some women call the police, while others come alone with children and luggage, in fear of their partners, explains Gabriela Slabenig from the police in Koblenz, in charge of cases of domestic violence.
"There is a real threat in such situations. We have to react."
We are talking about women who are in great danger. Divorce, death threats, strangulation - all these indicate a high risk of death, explains Gabriela Slabenig. He adds that certain types of behavior are also a warning: "Men who are extremely aggressive, impulsive, controlling, dominant and jealous."
She handles between 150 and 200 cases of violence against women annually and oversees high-risk situations.
"More and more women are saying: I need safe housing, I can't go back home, I've been beaten, I'm getting death threats."
Places in safe houses are rare and often not available nearby. The police from Koblenz drive some women 200 to 300 kilometers to the next safe house. Experts scan their phones to remove spyware and tracking apps.
Safe houses: too few places
According to the Council of Europe's Istanbul Convention on the Protection of Women from Violence, Germany lacks about 14.000 places for women and children in safe houses.
Studies have shown that much less is invested in this area than necessary - only 300 million euros per year, while an investment of 1,6 billion euros is recommended for prevention and protection against violence.
The province and local government independently decide on funding, which Aleksandra Nesius strongly criticizes. She runs a safe house in Koblenz. A city with 115.000 inhabitants should have 11 to 12 safe spaces, but there are only seven of them. Many women have to refuse "When I report a vacancy on the 'Safe House Search' portal, it is taken within one to two hours," says Nesius.
She appeals to women who stay with abusive partners for the sake of their children: "Please leave for the sake of the children."
"Children who have to witness violence against their mother, it's the same as suffering violence alone," warns family law attorney Veran-Ichert. There is also the danger of imitation: "Either the son starts behaving violently or macho-style like the father, or the daughter becomes a victim."
Hoping that an abusive husband will change his behavior is not the way to go, affirms Nesius, director of the safe house: "It's not going to stop on its own."
In safe houses, children are taught the values of non-violence and different patterns of behavior. A social pedagogue was hired for the boys, who works with them.
Violence against women is present in all social groups. However, in safe houses, the number of migrant women is higher, because they need additional support, explains Alexandra Nesius:
"Often they don't have family here to help them, they don't speak the language well and they don't know the legal regulations."
If they do not receive social assistance - women only pay for a safe house
Nesius also criticizes the fact that women have to pay for their stay in safe houses themselves - if they are not entitled to social assistance. With the support of an association, she tries to help vulnerable women with donations.
According to national statistics on safe houses, it is precisely those women who pay for their own accommodation who often return to violent situations.
The draft law on assistance to victims of violence, which DW had access to, foresees a legally guaranteed "right to protection and legal advice" - free of charge for all those affected. This law would oblige Germany to provide enough places in safe houses and their adequate funding.
Prevention of femicide: female politicians appeal, the law is ready
The Minister for the Family, Lisa Paus (Greens), pointed out a few months ago:
"We need not only a security package against terrorist knife attacks, but also to prevent and protect women from violence."
She prepared that law on helping women victims of violence, but the process stopped in the collation, which has now fallen apart. "For women who are threatened, beaten and fear for their lives, it is completely irrelevant who is in power." She appealed to all democratic members of the Bundestag to vote for the prepared law. "The law on assistance to women victims of violence will save lives," she emphasizes, calling for the expansion of counseling and protection services.
German Interior Minister Nancy Fesser (SPD) says, "Almost every day we witness femicide in Germany. Every three minutes a woman or girl experiences domestic violence. Women are victimized just because they are women. This is unacceptable and requires decisive action."
"We have to be stricter with the perpetrators, we also need more attention and help for the victims. In addition to strict punishments, mandatory anti-violence training and electronic surveillance are necessary in order to change the behavior of the perpetrators and prevent them from getting closer to the women they threatened, Fezer adds.
Many women have been fighting for all this for a long time. They are gathering around the world through the movement "One-Billion-Rising" (February 14), protesting as part of the UN campaign "Orange the World" from the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women (November 25) to Human Rights Day (December 10 ).
