In the week that has passed since the model Filip Kapisoda killed his girlfriend, the singer Ksenia Paychin, and then killed himself, we read about everything: how they loved each other, quarreled, how many times they fought, and even worse bizarre things - in what clothes they were buried in, how much the grave sites cost and what color the coffins were. But, well, Western culture has long shown a tendency to indulge in all kinds of fetishes, so it is not unusual that there is a critical mass of those who are interested in whether Ksenia Paichin was buried in a skirt or in jeans. However, in the reactions of the public and the way this case was treated in the media, several details stand out that are worrying, and some are potentially dangerous.
It is enough to look at the newspaper headlines: "Like once in Verona", "Death of a perfect couple", "The tragic end of a great love". And the news is that Filip Kapisoda killed Ksenia Paychin, and then shot himself in the head. Therefore, it is clear who is the victim and who is the murderer. Some media these days are sending a different message: as if it is about two young, beautiful and in love, whose happiness was destroyed by the hand of some more dark force. And in fact, the only similarity between Ksenia Paychin and Philip Kapisoda is that they are both dead. Filip Kapisoda sentenced himself, and Ksenia Paychin was killed. Somehow, in the media treatment of this story, a sign of equality is placed. Phrases such as "victims" or "victims of the tragedy" are used, indicating that both are victims. And they didn't. He had the option to choose whether to kill himself and her or to let her live. She didn't have that choice.
Because of this type of writing, the Marriage and Family Counseling Center of the Center for Social Work in Belgrade reacted, issuing a statement in which it is said that this kind of media coverage obscures the matter to a large extent, avoids starting a story about responsibility and whether something could have been done differently. . In the announcement, the marriage counseling center draws attention first of all to the fact that Ksenia Pajcin is a victim of violence in a relationship and that on several occasions she signaled that she was suffering, that she wanted to end the relationship in which there was suffering, she also called the police, but they the environment and friends returned to the relationship in which she suffered: "How is it that the police, who had a report and who, according to their powers, have rules for dealing with cases of domestic violence, did not take advantage of several opportunities to prevent this tragic event?" When they arrived at the scene (after breaking down the door), they were obliged to place Filip Kapisoda in custody for 48 hours, to file criminal charges against domestic violence, and to impose protection measures against domestic violence." At the end of the statement, the experts of the Center for Social work pose an essential question: how is it that after this event, knowing its chronology, it is not discussed, but bizarre details are presented?
The answer to this question is not difficult to find. It is enough to carefully read the comments on media websites in Serbia. One part of the audience is much more interested in the bizarre than the substance. And the other part, namely the one that likes to consider itself a better, smarter and more advanced part of Serbia - is not interested in the topic. Why? Judging by the comments that some readers leave on the websites of non-tabloid media, because it is about Ksenia Pajcin. Those comments can be divided into two groups.
The first ones resent the fact that the problem of relationship violence is being discussed now, with the explanation that the reason is that public figures are involved, and not because the topic is important.
To be clear: the topic is extremely important. The theme is of vital importance for every girl who learns from this case that the fact that the boyfriend she wants to leave tells her that he will kill himself without her is no proof of love. Therefore, if anything good can result from the audience's constant hunger for information about the lives of celebrities, it is the possibility to draw attention to such phenomena when they happen. Serbia is no exception here. Last year, when the globally popular r'n'b singer Rihanna was beaten by her boyfriend, also a famous musician, Chris Brown, so that she was unrecognizable from bruises and bruises, the whole world was dealing with the issue of abuse and violence. Two years ago, when Croatian businessman Dikan Radeljak (former husband of Bebe Lončar and Ene Begović) threw his then-wife, pop star Vlatka Pokos, out of his apartment, Croatian Radio and Television played smart. Primetime shows, such as Denise Latina's "Latina," have dealt with the issue of marital violence.
So, if the topic is important, and it is, does it really matter how it gets the spotlight? It is more important, I guess, to talk about it in a meaningful way. However, meaningful treatment of the topic of partner violence is a test that many Serbian media have failed, and this is not the first time. The yellow press, by the nature of things, causes disgust and boycott among the world that considers itself serious, but it is still the most read in Serbia, and the way it deals with topics is a good indicator of how our society views certain phenomena. Some time ago, the main entertainment event and topic for the yellow pages was the divorce of the famous musical couple from the nineties - Anabela and Gagi Đogani from the group Funky G. Anabela Đogani spoke publicly about how her husband beat her while they were married. A month later, the two reconciled (later, however, they finally broke up). At the time of their reconciliation, lifestyle magazines ran the story with headlines like "Love Won After All." It never occurred to anyone that this case was a well-known pattern of the victim returning to the abuser. And, of course, no one remembered that writing like this would create a completely wrong image of what love and marriage should look like. And that's exactly what happened, which is again confirmed by the readers' comments. Underneath every news story on the Internet that deals with this couple, readers divided into two camps are having a heated debate. The most worrying are those who do not question the fact that Anabela Đogani suffered violence, but try to prove that she herself is to blame for it. Meanwhile, Facebook groups are popping up rooting for Annabella and Gaga to reconcile. By the way, at the very moment of writing this text, the reality show "Farm" is on TV Pink, in which Gaggi Đogani utters the sentence: "Who hasn't hit a woman? I beat her, she beat me, we fought. Then the Balkan mentality prevails among the others and it turns out that only we men are to blame."
The second group of commentators is made up of those who are traditionally disgusted by the writing of tabloids and celebrities who appear on the pages of the yellow press, so their argument says that non-tabloid media should not even write about this case. Let's imagine that this did not happen to Ksenia Pajcin, but to some other player and singer who did not experience the peak of fame in the inglorious nineties in Milošević's Serbia, when turbo-folk and that unfortunate pop-dance-folk butcher, who did not have fun with guys with thick criminal records and who always behaved chastely and modestly in front of the cameras. Even then, would the non-tabloid media have the permission of a part of their readers to deal with her death? Well, somehow everything points to the fact that it would.
Such reviews go hand in hand with the writing of certain media, which is slowly turning into a media lynching of a dead woman. The main tool is passing on the statements of Kapisoda's friends and family, who by airing dirty laundry and negative comments about Ksenia Paychin's behavior try to justify what he did. In the past weekend alone, four major interviews with Mirko Kapisod, Filip's father, were published. His need to justify his son's actions to others (and to himself) is quite clear and understandable, but the need of certain media outlets to extract as many negative comments as possible from him about Pajčinova is unclear. A man who is undoubtedly in a state of shock, trauma and pain is not really obliged to take care of what he says, but the media should think about it, and not just broadcast everything he says, expose him to public condemnation and further traumatize him.
In connection with the newspaper articles appearing in recent days, 24 organizations dealing with women's rights issued a joint statement. "For days, certain media outlets have been publishing statements and interviews with acquaintances of the murdered woman, that is Filip Kapisoda, trying to relativize the violence to which the victim was exposed and because of which she eventually died.
The texts impermissibly depict something that must not be presented in any other way than as murder, and the responsibility for this act must not be shared between the victim and the perpetrator, but only on the perpetrator. In this way, the media actually justify the crime and make violence against women something that can be explained and defended with some quasi-arguments," reads the statement signed by: Anti-Trafficking Center, Center for Social Work - Professional Service of the Family Counseling Center, Women's Center, Women's Space . Women Against Violence Network: Women for Peace, Hera, Roma Associations, SOS Telephone, Femina, Center for the Protection of Victims of Domestic Violence, Children's Roma Center, Belgrade, Hera - Bačka Topola, Iz kruga, Shelter for Women and Children Victims of Domestic Violence , the Autonomous Women's Center and the Peščanik Women's Association.
How is it possible for an obvious case of partner abuse to be clouded and twisted into ferocious vulture and slandering of the victim? Did the 1990s, which are so lightly and unnecessarily honored by Ksenia Pajčin, drive Serbian society so crazy that we lost ourselves in relativizing the issues of responsibility, guilt, criminals and victims? Some have executed themselves to the point of questioning whether the apparent victim is fit to be. The tragic end of Ksenia Paichina is proof that, despite the bright lights of the spotlight, life is never a movie. Therefore, the victims are not as they are shown in Hallmark and Spelling production films: chaste, curly, blue-eyed and without a single flaw. No, the victims are people, with their flaws, mistakes and bad decisions, but also with the inalienable right to freedom and life.
