A recently published book whose title you can't help but notice, Why am I swearing?, is a collection of texts that Vedrana Rudan has published on her blog on the website www.rudan.info for the past few years. The book, published by "Laguna", contains a selection of texts on her favorite topics: What are women for, What are men for, What are children for, What is Croatia for, What is life for, written as only Vedrana Rudan writes: sharp, direct and witty . Why am I swearing? is the tenth book by Vedrana Rudan. She was introduced to the local reading public by the publishing house "Rende" already with her first novel, a bestseller. Ear, throat, knife, and then published some of her next novels: Love at last sight, I am an infidel. i Blacks in Florence.
Current book Why am I swearing? Vedrana Rudan dedicated to each of the 160.000 readers of her blog. She thinks she is the most read person in the region – her blog has been viewed 10.000.000 times. Immediately after the publication of the book Why am I swearing?, regardless of this popularity, Vedrana Rudan announced that she will no longer write articles in her blog, yes - she is giving up.
"WEATHER": verb "to give up" has a losing meaning. And when someone who fights against hatred like you gives up, then that, first, it can be experienced as capitulation, and the other, it can also lead those who identified with your views to despair, and third, it can mean that he only wins well in fairy tales. Have you thought about the consequences and the meaning of your withdrawal?
VEDRANA RUDAN: I didn't think about the "consequences" of giving up blogging. What "consequences"? Who do I answer to? Nobody was paying me. I have emphasized a hundred times that I always write for myself and that I have never seen myself as a person who "tells" something, opens people's eyes, shows them the right path, reveals the truth. I know people too well to think of such a thing. Each of my texts was a reckoning with myself. If I was opening anyone's eyes, then I was doing it for myself. The refugee crisis, the ultimate American manipulation, another one in a series, totally hit me. I have decided, I will move away. Blogging is a passion job. It kills. Watching Dnevnik, surfing the Internet, watching hundreds of thousands of unfortunates storming Europe was too much for me. I could have written a text about how the Americans want to destroy Europe with refugees, after all they destroyed all the countries from which poor people come to us, but why? I admit, I'm tired. I am terrified of the hatred that will ravage Croatia and Europe. What fascist America and its European servants are doing to us right now is too much for me. It's just that I'm sick.
Here, in Serbia, several iconic TV shows were shut down you surely know about "Impression of the week". Not proven, but everyone claims that the reason is censorship from the top. In your blog, you criticize the new president of Croatia, Kolinda Grabar Kitarović, and very, very sharp. Is that also why your blog is gone??
Amazing question. Connect Grabar Kitarović and me? I perceive that in any context as a vicious insult. The lady is an American player, formally she hardly has any power, she really tells us what the Americans tell her. She hardly has anything to do with me even though she is a girl from my area. I don't think it has anything to do with censorship in the Croatian media. Media are servants of corporations, politicians are servants of corporations, politicians should not be overestimated. Your president was a respectable Chetnik for years, today he is a respectable democrat. Vucic too. Those guys don't decide anything, they listen. Bećković was executed because the woman did not allow herself to be controlled. She was removed by capital, not politics. To me, the more interesting question is why they didn't remove Zoran Kesic when they already killed everything that was smart? Because court jesters are harmless? Because Zoran Kesić is a boy, and boys are treated gently by boys because boys love boys? Is it because Kesić is proof that democracy is invading the Serbian media after all? I could also ask why, as a sign of protest against the stifling of media freedom, Kesić did not resign himself. See how many stupid questions I can ask in a unit of time.
If you hadn't given up, it is quite possible that you would write a blog about a three-year-old Syrian boy whose drowned body washed ashore, or about the captions that a photo of a dead boy will change the world. The reactions lasted two three days. I don't even know what to ask you about this horrible topic, let's say: why are we like this, why even that dead boy is not enough of an argument for us to stop destroying each other?
When did photos of dead children change the world? Did even one dead Yugoslav child deviate from the path of the savages who turned Yugoslavia into dust and ashes? Dead children are only interesting to the hypocritical media that are appalled by human callousness. What a bitch. In the past few decades, America has killed millions of children, some of its own, some of ours, some of Syria, Afghanistan, Pakistan... Who cares. Killing children is in principle unacceptable, but in reality it is completely normal. Dead children are always proof that some people are fighting for freedom and democracy. In this case it is the Americans. Many people criticize me for standing up against the spread of hatred in principle, but I hate Americans, Germans with all my heart... Of course I don't hate the citizens of America who are held by their two hundred masters by the thin neck, nor do I hate the Germans who barely survive when they pay kindergarten, rent and food. I hate Obama who is the incarnation of a white fascist, I also hate Angela Merkel who is the Hitler of the twenty-first century. I don't care if someone is suffocating me with gas or interest. I am correcting myself. Gassing was more humane. This worldwide holocaust will last forever. And our great-grandchildren will go to church in installments.
In his "giving up" you wrote a blog: "These days, these last months, Croatia has such a horrible hatred that I can't stand it. It seems to me that even during the war, she was not so vicious. " I know firsthand that this July on the Croatian Adriatic, specifically in Bol on Brač, it was not Croatian Serbian hatred. Even the saleswomen in the supermarket were talking "Do you want a bag?" and no "bag". At the same time, judging by the news and similar shows, it looked different, it seemed that the hatred was there and that it was great. What can a man think?? I: why now suddenly so much hatred? Is it European to hate??
What a question! When I talk about "Croatian hatred", I really do not mean only the hatred that the citizens of Croatia have towards Serbs. Croats are not defined only by their hatred or tolerance towards your fellow citizens. "We" will soon be fucking the Syrians with equal if not greater fervor than we did to you. I read that "you" charge Syrians fifty cents to turn on their cell phones. What is that? Mercy? Hate is what defines a person as a human being, and that is why we should not be surprised by hatred. It moves us, it makes the world different. And the fact that our saleswomen offer "bags" to "Serbs" and not "bags" is not an expression of either love or tolerance. Todorić, who rules both Croatia and Serbia, introduced new rules of conduct. Don't let it cross your mind that Croats hate Serbs less these days. They hate them the way the Serbs hate them, the way a normal person hates the one he has to hate if he doesn't want to have problems with his bosses.
At the end of the book Why am I swearing? the author note says your blog has 160.000 followers. It means people who agree (completely or partially) with your views, or they read you to have someone to be angry at for living the way they live. Your blog is a call to fight against hate. If they all gathered together, wouldn't that be enough to overcome the haters?
My vanity is terribly flattered by the enormous success I have achieved blogging. And not just vanity. I am one of those human beings who do not hate by dictate. I hate by choice. It really amazed me that there are so many people in this area who think like me: compassion, respect for other people's feelings, hatred for politicians and bankers, all of that united us. Blogging has been the ultimate psychotherapy for me. I felt part of a group of good people. At the same time, it is quite clear to me that two hundred thousand or thousands of us are no force at all. We are desperate people who are looking for the hands of others in the dark so that together we can more easily struggle through the horror of living in this time.
In the blog you titled "Scorched earth" it also says this: "The emigration of our children is not an unorganized action. The calculation is very simple.. If a million people in their prime move out of Croatia in one year, there will be enough room here for a million people in any age. Croatia will, how are things today, be refugee-friendly. And it should be.. Hundreds of thousands of refugees arrive in Europe because the countries they come from have been reduced to dust and ashes. Did we raze them to the ground?? Of course. If a country attacks a NATO member, NATO attacked. When NATO attacks a country, each member state is obliged to receive refugees from the devastated country. Except America. America is not a member of NATO. a. She is NATO.. " Do you think that the world is governed by some conspiracy theory directed by someone to achieve their own interests?
America rules the world. Obama is a black puppet at the end of white capital. I said that about him right after the election. Two billion dollars were invested in his campaign. Certainly not to let the sun shine on blacks and America's "white trash". Serious world political analysts, whom only "Peščanik" quotes in your country, nobody in our country, claim that he is much worse than Bush. The next one will be even worse. America has decided that it will no longer put a democratic dress on its fascism. They invade sovereign countries of their choice, kill their leaders, steal their oil, organize civil wars, use drones to kill children in all corners of the world, they will destroy Europe with refugees. At the same time, they declare Putin a criminal because he occasionally messes up their plans. Americans are mean players. Today, even a semi-literate savage understands how the modern world works and how helpless the common man is in all of this. We live, those are not my words, in the time of slave-owning democracy.
Your new book Why am I swearing? is the answer, reaction to those who find swearing annoying. Why did you feel the need to justify yourself to them??
People constantly ask me why I swear, so I felt the need to explain to them. I make no excuses to anyone, but occasionally I feel the need to answer a question to my many readers. I would not like to dwell on this topic because if I answer in detail the question of why I curse, who will buy the book Why am I swearing??
You could talk about women until the day after tomorrow. I have the impression that at the top of the eternal topics is the opinion about women. How to determine if it is created by men so as not to elevate themselves, or women didn't work hard enough to deserve better? I want to say: you can't make someone think you're a hot chick if you're twenty pounds overweight.
The position of women in society is my eternal theme. I studied the position of women in many countries, I spoke with European women, American women, women from Africa... After five minutes of conversation, we realize that everyone, no matter where they live, lives the same life. Men are the masters, we are slaves who have to look like a doll on the front page, be smart but know how to hide it because men can't stand smartness, we have to be moms and nurses but at the same time while breastfeeding send and receive Google emails if we are managers in that mom-friendly company. At a special price are women who return to work on the third day after a caesarean section, they are always ready to spread their legs and pretend to have an orgasm and are overjoyed that they are paid only thirty percent less than men for the same work. I realized that every fight for a collective female better tomorrow is pointless. Men rule the world, and smart women can only fight for their individual freedom. Unlike many women, I am single. I have my money, my key to my house, my man who I can live without if everything doesn't go my way. I recognized my enemy in time. I realized that in the war against men, the expression of a retarded fool will help me more than intelligence, so I behave accordingly when I judge that it will bring me some benefit. They are heavier than us, twenty kilos on average, they have power and money. They sold us the story that killing abusers is a crime, and when they break our necks, it's self-defense. I am one of the few single women on earth because I sincerely believe that there is life without men.
Judging by the newspaper clipping, one of the questions that often interested my colleagues refers to your experience of nationality. You usually answer that in Yugoslavia we were what we are now, we just didn't mind it. Behavioral pattern: if I am from Serbia, the Croat expects me to behave like that i tako. No one expects to see the Dutchman in clogs with a tulip in his hand. Why nationality is limiting, unfreedom?
I must admit that the conversation on the topic of Serbian-Croatian relations has been boring to me for a long time. I'm sure it's an imposed topic. We went to war twenty-five years ago. A long time ago we should have put a cross or a cross, as you will, on that subject. It is interesting how the slave Jovan and the slave Ivica have to fight forever and count who slaughtered whom and how many ancestors in history. When it comes to Croatian-Serbian business, there is no slaughter. "Our" Todorić rolls your plasma biscuits to me in Croatia and to you in Serbia. However, since he sells them, I don't eat them anymore. Someone should tell Serbs and Croats that our bloody war was fought so that your president Nikolić would wear Armani suits, his wife would wear luxurious dresses, and our savage politicians became "gentlemen" and billionaires overnight. Not to mention your and our criminal bankers. And while our and your "gentlemen" are brothers by our spilled blood, those who lost their loved ones in the war and in "peace" wear their underpants on a stick, must look at each other through the crosshairs. I never agreed to this exchange of theses, and I still don't agree to this day. The nation does not define anyone. I love good people even when they are Serbs.
Has the blog pushed your books? Do people know you more as a blogger than as a writer??
I have no idea. I have sold around 500 books in Yugoslavia so far. My blog, which makes me very happy, was read mostly by young people and people who had to leave Yugoslavia. The generation that was born after the war. I will miss contact with them very much because they really did not deserve to live in this hell. On the other hand, I never agreed with the thesis that Yugoslavia was destroyed by the threatened and then threatened hatred between Serbs and Croats. Look at Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, Pakistan, Ukraine... Who could list all the countries where America introduced democratic massacre. She did the same here. When you have the media in your hands, it's no problem to make brother slaughter brother, not to mention the neighbors. Am I more of a blogger or a writer? I'm not a blogger anymore, I'm writing a book, when I write it, who knows what I'll be doing. Maybe I will work in one of the hundreds of public kitchens where the Syrians will be fed that Europe has assigned to us. Or, that is closer to life, together with the Syrians and Afghans, I will fight until my last breath to get my hands on a piece of bread that the good Americans and even more merciful Angela Merkel will send us.
Reading Why am I swearing? I thought a blog was a literary genre, and not a private note available to the public with one-day use. On that occasion, it is interesting to think about why the book, therefore traditional value, considers more valuable than electronic media, or from a new invention?
I think you are very wrong. A blog is not a worse read because it is not "on paper". Something is either valid or not. Times are changing. In the past, writing was done in stone, on parchment, with a goose quill, pen, and ballpoint pen, and we pounded on the typewriter, today we pound on the keyboard. I'm sure the tools of creation are irrelevant. Something is or is not a work of art, something that reaches the human soul. In the book Why am I swearing? there are several texts that I think are the best I have ever written.
Of all the chapters of your book Why am I swearing? the last bit hurt me the most: "What is life for?". A sentence towards the end of the blog of the same name "everything I should be I am not" basically has freedom of determination and choice. And yet, What's all this for??
Why life is the question of all questions. It is most often posted by people my age, I will soon be sixty-six. You look back and today you know how everything could have looked like if you knew what you know today when you were sixteen. I also rummage through the past every day. Does life have a meaning? Going through hell to recover in a hospital, mental institution or nursing home, while a hundred wires are sticking out of you and rats are nibbling on your lunch, if you are lying in a Croatian nursing home. A boring job, bad children, no pension, a bad husband, a wasted life... Many are deeply unhappy when they look back. I didn't. Undreamed of dreams came true for me because at one point in my life I decided on love and burned all the bridges behind me. To me, life has meaning only if you love someone from the bottom of your heart. Husband, wife, lover, mistress, child, cat, dog, granddaughter, neighbor... I will be in love until I die, and until the last rope is strangling me, everything inside me will scream: it made sense. I know that there are not many of us at Kugla who are this lucky, but I am definitely among them. Is it worth living? It's worth it if you're not the center of the world.
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